Three Little Birds

Most of the time, as a homeschooler, I feel as though I'm swimming along, doing a little doggie paddle, soaking in the glow of minds at work, enjoying the ebb and flow of our full days, taking the odd wave of doubt in stride, but then, there are moments when I look up, survey the enormity of the task at hand, the OCEAN in which I swim, and I have myself a good old fashioned panic attack.

I mean really, suppose one day my kids are grown and they can't get decent jobs, so their wives run off with some guy in a Ferrari and their kids wind up cursing the name of their grandma, who with all her wacky homeschooling notions, doomed them to a life of motherless poverty? Then what?

Deep breath, sister. Repeat after me, " every little thing's gonna be alright."

It's just that, when you love someone, THREE someones, so much that it pulls the rug right out from under you, who you are, and what you hold, just never adds up to all that you'd like to give. I worry that I'm not enough to do them justice.

When those days come, I have to remind myself that my children's future does not rest solely in my hands. I believe that they are in hands that are bigger than mine, and I believe that they are made of stuff that will shine in spite of my failings.

Not that I don't think parents and teachers have integral roles to play, it's just that I'm fairly certain that they will rise to their own occasions.

I know this because I see it everyday.

Take this most recent example. We've been practicing our observational drawing.

Here's yesterday's drawing subject:

Here's 5 year old James' rendering of said birdie:

I may be biased, but I think it's pretty fantastic.

Lori mentioned though, that a good way to get kids to think about the lines that make up their intended subject is to have them trace it in the air with their finger. As an experiment in that direction, I bought cheap (less that $3) frames so that they could hold it (or tape it down) in front of their subject and then do their tracing with a dry erase marker. It worked pretty well!

They didn't stop there though.

My middle son soon discovered that his drawing on the plexiglass, would create a "colored shadow" if he positioned it in front of a piece of white paper.

Then, they figured out that they could color one glass yellow, and another blue, hold them side by side, and the "colored shadow" would be green. They experimented with other colors. They layered drawings to make them more complex.

They took this one little idea that I had and RAN with it.

This, friends, is how I know that whatever ideas I could muster about their life, would just PALE in comparison to what they will create on their own.

They are smart little cookies, and Bob Marley is too. Every little thing really is gonna be alright.

Comments

[Irene]

I don't know why you choose to home school. It's something that's not done here in the Netherlands, so I have no experience with it, not even indirectly. I assume you are smart enough to know what your children need to learn and that you are disciplined enough to see that it gets done. Will you do this through high school?

I am not going to ask you all the obvious questions, because I am sure you have been asked them a hundred times. You must know what is best for your boys. I would have liked a private tutor for my children, but then I would have needed more money than I had, but I think, especially for my son, it would have been a good thing.

[Stefani]

I'm glad you asked, Irene!
Schooling is a REALLY personal choice, and one that we made based on LOTS of different factors, from the schools available to us, to my husband's job (and the ability it affords him to be at home, and for us to travel), along with a whole host of other reasons.

It's not for everyone, but it's right for us, for now. You can read more about our choice here; http://blueyonder.typepad.com/about.html

[Just Pure Lovely]

Loved your post this evening. I know that panicky feeling, too, the one that makes me catch my breath for a moment.

What you said is so very true, that they are in much bigger - more able - hands than our own.

Still, I love being reminded of that. So, thanks.

p.s. My favorite reason for homeschooling is because I just love to be with these kids! They are absolutely fascinating.

[Irene]

Hi Stefani, thank you for kindly responding to my comment. It was nice of you to take time out from your, no doubt, busy schedule. I hope for you that the year in Japan works out. It sounds like a big adventure. Would you move to a big city or go to a smaller one in the countryside? You probably want to be somewhere where some English is spoken, huh? It's always good when kids get exposed to other cultures, but you have to do it at an age when they can appreciate that.

Ciao...

[Sally]

This is one beautiful entry. There is indeed something quite remarkable about guiding your child and letting them discover things themselves.

I had a similar moment this week when my three year old discovered that we all had a beating heart (we have been talking about bones and skin for the last few weeks).

Just curious about how old your boys are?

[DanaB]

Spectacular post!

As homeschoolers ourselves, I so understand where you're coming from. Our hooligans are now 14 and 12...my how time flies. I wouldn't change a thing about our homeschooling/life living journey, oh the things we have all learned and are learning every day!

What a fantastic seed you planted with the frames and art stuff--I imagine watching your kidlets run with it was completely amazing! Priceless, even!

~~

[Tara]

Outstanding idea with the frames and the drawing exercises! That, in and of itself shows what a creative and intuitive teacher you are!!

I'm convinced it is the little projects and the slower, more child driven delights that fill Owen's days, that will ultimately form the foundation of his success as an adult.

[Tara]

I'm so thankful for reading this post this morning! My son is only 6 months old, and still a few years away from "officially" being of school age, but it IS our intention to homeschool and I frequently have panic attacks interspersed with those feelings that it will be wonderful.

[Diane]

Ha! Talk about taking an idea an running with it -- the future wives running off with guys in Ferraris! ; ) Good to know we're all bobbing in the same ocean singing Bob Marley tunes to keep us afloat!

[amy]

yr fabulous! I adore yr smart ideas!

[Amy]

I could have written this post... from the panic attacks to the three little birds to the faith to the wonder at my boy's ability to learn and grow. Wonderful.

[Tracy]

Every time you talk about something new they have discovered, or created, or changed, or done, I am awed. I think kids in general have a fresh, unflawed by fear and failure, perspective on alot of things, but yours. Yours really are smart little cookies. You are the catalyst. They are the engineers. It's inspiring to hear about it.

[Christa]

As another homeschooling mom I can completely relate to your panic attack. It seems just when I am most worried, though, something like your drawing session happens and my calm returns. I think I'll try the great frame idea. I love the shadow discovery!

[jessica]

Amen sister!!

Isn't this why we homeschool? Because we have faith in the innate creativity and potential of our children and we don't want to contaminate that with bells and artificial schedules and false social classes and all that stuff that comes with going to school? We KNOW that miracles of discovery WILL happen.

It is so exciting to watch the miracles unfold!

(even with the intermittent panic attacks)

[molly]

this is such a good post! (do i start every comment that way, stefani?!!) I've been having homeschooling panic attacks lately, but then I look out the window and see my daughter with a notebook and pencil sketching tracks she sees in the snow, I think this. is. good.

If it weren't for their unending curiosity and creativity, I'd be lost. They drive it all. And my faith supports it all.

[molly]

oh! and don't you just LOVE night mantra?

[natasha s]

This post is fantastic.I think every mother feels this to some extent,homeschooling or not.We worry about the choices that we make for our children.We can be so sure of ourselves but yet there is always that nagging in the back of our minds.
From waht I have read (and since finding your blog I haven't managed to get through all of the archives!!) it seems obvious that you are doing a BRILLIANT job.
You and Bob are right:0)
I love that bird,did you make it??
The plexiglass idea is superb .I will be taking that and putting it into motion very soon,
take care:0)

[erin]

i have those panic attacks and i don't even homeschool!

i agree that there are bigger hands playing a role in all of this. i just try to do my best and know that my girls can do the rest on their own. i can't wait to see how it all turns out.

[Mandy]

What a great post. A trick I learned in art school is to look at your object and follow the lines with your eyes while drawing on your paper. The trick is to keep your eyes on the object and not the paper or what you are drawing. You may be surprised at how well it helps. Just an idea!

[Annika]

I love James's drawing. Thank you for sharing your boys' creativity with us!

[Heather]

beautiful, and so true, I feel the same way often, this is inspiring.

[joetta maue]

your writing and observations on being a mother are truly inspirational.

[tania]

my dear husband Owen was homeschooled his whole life, unschooled to be exact, other than math...now he is married to me, mother of 4 formerly homeschooled children and he is an amazing, logical, intelligent, deep thinking, emotionally well man...our story is unique with the age thing and the mix of families and all...i believe his and my childrens and my philosophies as to what is truly important in life, something learned through life, not school, are what make our family what it is...okay, can't punctuate or write well this morning...hopefully you get the gist of what i am trying to say...you are doing good by your boys Stefani!!!

[Visty]

I am always amazed at what my children can do without me hovering. All they need is time, and that they do not get in public school. Sounds like you're doing a perfect job so far. I fully believe a happy home is the absolute first and most important step, and everything else is icing on top.

[Kate]

This is such a wonderful post. Your ability to gracefully articulate the biggest reason that I am still unable to fully commit to the idea of homeschooling my oldest next year is dead on. It feels like such an awesome responsibilty, am I up to the task? You need to know that you are such an inspiring example of what successful homeschooling looks like. If I could be sure that I could be half as amazing, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment.
Thanks for the perspective and the inspiration!!
Have a great weekend :)